and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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