Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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