Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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