remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How naked do you want me to be?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
