Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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