420 ftw
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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