margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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