It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
