I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
