He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
soo... how was my night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
