She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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