That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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