Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
