It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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