There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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