Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
