I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
