We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
