you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
