You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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