I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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