words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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