the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
