1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
