Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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