dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
