What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
