I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
