Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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