I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
