How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
