is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
These tits shall not be calmed
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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