If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
