Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he fucked my hip out of place.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
