so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
