Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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