What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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