We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
