Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
