Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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