If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
