We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
