Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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