I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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