We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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