Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
