operation harelip BJ is a go
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
