She's JV to your varsity
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
