We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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