Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
