So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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