first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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