dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sext me about skeletons
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize