elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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